Tuesday, September 15, 2009


You all know that I've just started to do this thing. I don't know why I decided to (maybe I felt left out and am compensating for a lack of attention) but I've found that I rather enjoy it. I used to write quite a bit and then life kinda kicked me in the testicles, spanked my ass and called me a bitch. Since then, I've specialized in bureaucratic rhetoric and letters that take three paragraphs to say "no." So, yeah, I'm still trying to find the voice of this particular venture and recover what I've lost of my writing ability.

Having said all of that, I would appreciate any suggestions on how I can make my writing or The Store better. Am I rambling? Is my punctuation wrong? Was that a stupid-ass post? Spelling incorrect? (keep in mind I'm Canadian and I love "u"s). Fuck it, basically I would like you lovely bastards to be my editors. Consider it an investment against not getting flayed within a millimeter of your life by twenty centimeters of flaccid dick. Constructive criticism is always appreciated and you may even earn a discount in the sex toy department (I may also be the sex toy department). Even if you just feel like trolling, come on by. We love your kind at StabbyMart. You allow us to test our wares.

Drop a note in the comments with your input or hit me up on the facebook anytime.

Kisses, bitches

The Managment.


  1. your nudity.

    also, don't worry, i'll correct your grammar if it's too fucked. on the other hand, i like "u"s too, so no worries on that front. :)

  2. I love u's, too.

    ...but yeah. For sure more nudity.

  3. p.s. "Jennifer" is Jenn TheYellowDart, but google is a fucking whore, and keeps giving out my full name.

  4. a. Paragraph two: "an millimeter." Whoopsie! (You've given me license to grammarize, and grammarize I shall. You'll live to regret this, and I probably won't.)

    b. I saw "20 centimeters," and went "holy shit!" Then I realized that it said centimeters and not inches, and I was all "oh." But then I considered that twenty centimeters of flaccid dick is still pretty "holy shit!"-worthy. Conclusion, I'm dumb, inattentive, and possibly gay.

    c. Your writing entertains me immensely. Please, continue.

  5. You are a brave fellow, sir.

    I also find you incredibly entertaining, keep it coming.

    I knew the "20 centimeters" was going to cause trouble....

  6. Lose the black background - it is too hard to read the wrtitng on... the writing itself is great!

  7. There is nothing wrong with black...ignore her comment.

    Ummm I don't really want the nudity...I can do without that.

    More anger maybe? Anger is good? It will be a nice contrast to my mainly depressing posts, right?

  8. Huh...I consider myself pretty darned Canadian, but I never think of dick size in centimetres....

  9. i'll be the last person to correct someone as i am lazy and have forsaken the shift key unless it's absoFUCKINGlutly being considered.

    i didn't notice the black hurt my eyes until THAT KIM PERSON (see what i did there?) pointed it out. but you can leave it, it makes Deistbrawler happy and his happiness ain't cheap.

    having prefaced, either more nudity, or at the very least turn the fuck around.

  10. I'm going to have to join in with the others in their request for more nudity. Might as well put that content warning to good use...

  11. Yeah ... I gotta say I hold 'all the boys I've loved before' accountable for my atrocious inability to judge linear length.

    In fact, I still think my pinky is 12 inches ... don't confuse me further with centimeters.

    Seriously, though ... you rock, dude! From a fellow Canadian ... eh. I heart u's too.

  12. I am thirteenthing more nudity. Also, what the frig are these "millimeters" and "centimeters" of which you speak?? I'm an 'Murrican, dammit, and we don't truck with this "metric" "system". It's all a bunch of hoo-ha. And I don't mean vagina. Or maybe I do, it's hard to tell with me.

    Anyway, rock on. But not with metric crap. U's are okay, though.

  13. Thank's for the input y'all, please continue to do so.

    Deist - The anger is coming, don't worry.
    Sean - Fixed.
    Jenn - I'm glad you're not my niece Jennifer, cause that would be weird.
    Kim - The black stays, for now. I'll play with the font colours n' shit.

    To those of you wanting more nudity: I have something up my sleeve. Or pant-leg if you will.

  14. I'm all for more nudity, but I'm not voting that it's yours. I'm picky that way. On a side note, I'd like to open my own Stab n' Grab, it'll be like Stabby Mart but smaller and more expensive. But open 24 hours and always located in really shitty neighborhoods.

  15. I love that you now have the same content warning as Feist. That rocks. (hopefully that helps keep your employers off your ass too)

    I could do with a little 'know your victim' profiling. You know, utterly eviscerating and lavish descriptions of the f*cktards that need some whutfor. You could select from any walk of life, celebrity, personal anecdote, 'types'.

    Because, you are in the business of providing us StabbyMart customers with just the right tools - it would be good to know what works best on who(m?). You could match products/services to real world examples. I also really liked your dad's words of wisdom. You could tell us more about your apprenticeship.

    This is my vision: You are the Amazon.com of stabby recommendations.

  16. Rep, victim profiling/weapon of choice is already in the works.

  17. Weird, I picture your dad sorta like Dexter's dad. Very calm, patient, cool with stabbing. Down to earth.

  18. Actually Xtreme, My father and I are extremely different in many, many ways. As you'll see.

  19. I was always under the impression that light colors on a dark background were easier to read...did my IT people lie to me? (The dark blue and red are what make my eyes sad, since it's dark against dark.)

  20. I'm liking the "more nudity" theme we have going here at StabbyMart.

    Also - love the writing. Don't change anything. I mean it.

  21. hehe. man in a suit. hawt!

    (although the smile looks slightly more pained than stabby! "that's right, just take a few more steps backwaaaaaards....yes, almost there.....MEET CHIPPER!")

  22. It's my infomercial smile, Rep. I'ma takin' the fucker to television! (yeah right)