Monday, November 2, 2009


Scary Bitches
I found something out this Halloween. What did I find out? My eldest daughter is a nerd. I don't say that as if it's a bad thing, it just means that I'm going to have to prepare for the coming years a little bit differently. She went to a Halloween party on Saturday the bookstore. Like I said, not a bad thing but a little bit different then what I'm used to. As an added bonus, she won a book and a gift card which just added to the excitement of Cannonball Read II: Honey I Shrunk My Penis.

My previous post ranted on the lack of celebration at Halloween and the phasing out of the fun at school due to different religions or traditions. While taking the girls trick or treating, I ran into the complete opposite of this on a couple of occassions. There were two Asian families on our route of treaty goodness and at both houses the families were exstatic to see the kids. I mean the whole family (all eight of them) came to the door and started laughing and talking to the girls and generally making a big to do about the whole thing. It was awesome and honestly the kids were a little taken aback.

At about eight or nine houses people asked the girls what they were. The Good One's costume is pretty obvious and didn't really get a lot of reaction. The Bad One's however, drew more than a couple distainful looks. The conversation would usually go thusly:

Candy Pimp/Pimpette - Oh, look at you two! What are you supposed to be?
TGO - I'm a zombie!
Candy Pimp - I see. And what are you?
TBO - I'm an evil fairy!

*uncomfortable silence*

Candy Pimp - Oh, a fairy. That's nice.
TBO - NO! an evil fairy.
Candy Pimp - Right.

*Casts evil glare at the father standing on the sidewalk laughing uncontrollably*
Seriously, it happened like eight times and it was still funny as hell.

Finally; nobody, and I mean nobody complained about my pumkin display. I'm actually kind of disappointed because I was in the mood for some righteous indignation.  But Nooooooooo, no fun for Doran. I mean with all the stuffy bitches out there how could I not get shit over this:

There was brains splattered on the house and everything. People just never fail to disappoint.

StabbyMart: We'll murder the Great Pumpkin too.


  1. The kids are awesome, Suicide Punkin was brilliant and answering the door as Riff Raff, scaring hell out of four year olds AND their parents, was great fun. Glad you had a great Halloween with the kiddos and, as the father of a (near) sixteen year old nerd, rest easy in the fact that your nerd is supremely cool.


    because that would be awesome. *ahem* i'm not sure if it's quite in their age range, but the girls might really dig The Graveyard Book.

  3. Wait... I mean that I answered the door as Riff Raff... I dunno. Stupid October Hefeweizen!

  4. Actually Lizzie, that was the one she won.

  5. dude, your stuff made those kids?! that is talent, man.

    that little one, what is that? 20, 22 pounds?
    (at 400 degrees, 8 minutes per pound, carry the one...gimme an hour, that thing will be delicious!)

  6. Love the baby's face!

    Nuture the geek. Seriously, geeks really are a blast.

    The pumpkin is fantastic. The neighborhood watch would've probably had my house up for sale before midnight if I hadda tried something like that! Lightweights!

  7. Seriously, man ... yer women are fricken gorgeous!! TBO is my fav, fer sure ... evil fairy ... LOVE IT!!

    TGO can get her geek on ... she has you for a dad ... nobody's gonna mess with her ... and live to tell about it.

    Can I have the little one? OMG - she is sooo cute!!

    Pumpkin was AWESOME!