Thursday, October 29, 2009


  Does this look right?

Happy Orange and Black Day y'all! Wait.......what the fuck is Orange and Black Day? Really? Instead of letting the kids dress up in their costumes at shcool, they are "encouraged to wear orange and black? But wait, some of the kids can dress up? Would somebody care to explain this to me? Why is it that some of the kids can dress up but most are required to wear orange and black? Well of course, because some people don't celebrate Halloween. That makes complete sense. Oh, no costume parade either? Why? Because it takes away from school time? What's everybody doing Friday afternoon again? Halloween parties, bowling or other non-school activities? I can understand that. Well at least I could if I were a COMPLETE FUCKING IDIOT!

I'm sure that this will piss some of you off and I can understand that you may not wish to talk to me after I'm done. I'm willing to accept this becuase I've fucking had it. I've had it with society catering to every minority in this great country of ours. We're a melting pot of different colours, cultures and religions. We have to get along even though I'm quite aware that we constantly don't. I'm 100% aware that various religions and races have been persecuted over the centuries for no good reason other then that they conflict with ones own. But for fucks sake, Halloween? Dressing up as monsters or princesses now offends some people's delicate sensibilities. You know what else might offend one's sesnses? Me skull fucking your eye-socket with a vampire mouthed fleshlight. I'm tired of having to give up my traditions and celebrations becuase literally three people don't like it.

Honestly, if we're going to take this approach to public celebrations, we should be abolishing Christmas (I'm well aware that they're trying) tying Santa up and stoning him. To hell with New Years Eve, the Chinese celebrate it at a different time so lets just get rid of it all together. America celebrates Thanksgiving at a different time then Canada and I'm sure there are some americans living here (you'd better hope I never find you) so let's kick that one to the curb as well. Fuck it! recently dumped people probably aren't all that into Valentine's Day either, down with love! Down with love! Easter? I'm not even touching that one with Tracer Bullet's dick.

People, we all came to this country at some time and brought our religions and traditions with us, but some have been here longer than others. If you want your kids to go to school in a kilt, I don't care. A burka, I don't care. A turban, I don't care. In fact, please do send your kids to school in culturally specific clothing. Maybe it would help open a dialogue so that we can teach our kids more about each other and broaden their understanding of other cultures. But the Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that we have to be tolerant of other peoples traditions and religions. Right down to a sheikh being able to wear a turban as part of a uniform that has remained essentially unchanged for two hundred years. I respect your right to express yourself, pray to whomever you want and celebrate your traditions so, in return, I expect the same thing. I also expect policy makers to start fucking grow a pair and stop this ridiculous pandering to a very few people. Oh, that includes those fucking puritans who look upon Halloween as a form of devil worship.

The long and the short of it is: it's Halloween, pull  the stick out of your ass and let the kids have some fun. Oh, and my kids will be wearing their costumes. Cockgobblers.

(I also have a lovely rant on the worst school ever, but that's for another day.)

StabbyMart: Putting The "Weeeeeee" Back in Halloween.


  1. You leave my dick out of your weird obsessions.

  2. Shadows of DakaronOctober 29, 2009 at 9:09 AM

    Amen! Preach on, brother!

  3. Oh man - could I write a book about this ... well, since I haven't been successful writing a book about anything else - likely not, but you get the point.

    Last I checked, TOLERANCE was the buzz word. So why is it the people who have lived here for the longest (recorded) amount of time are the only group that have to actually do it(be tolerant in case my rant font got lost there)???

    I had a client 4 years ago that refused to come to our office to sign his mortgage papers because we had a 22 inch Christmas tree in our front lobby and a bit-o-cheap-ass garland (not "ass garland", "cheap-ass" garland - BIG dif!!)hanging around the doorway.


    Oh, see now you got me all stabby 'n riled up - thanks a lot!!!

  4. My family didn't celebrate Halloween so we got to stay home on the day they did the costume parties and parades. But I still got the candy the next day, so I could not have cared less.

    You're right, though. People need to lighten the fuck up and stop trying to accomodate everyone else.

  5. the private elementary school i attended was christian-based. we could dress up. as long as it was someone from the bible. not kidding. and Don't pick Satan because some kid tried that and was sent home. for good.
    (it wasn't me, i can't remember his name: kevin or mike or something. i think it had a k in it. this was almost 30 years ago.)

  6. I find the very suggestion of having a black and orange day offensive. What about blue or pink day? Will each colour get it's own day? Perhaps that is the only way we can learn to be tolerant. In the meantime- my kid will be wearing his Halloween costume to his school Halloween Parade and Party. He will also be going door to door trick or treating and not attending some sort of community type activity with healthy snacks...*gasp*

  7. I'm sorry to be a spoilsport, but I kind of disagree with you. I think tolerance in all its forms is usually a very good thing, and most problems that people tend to associate with "excessive tolerance" actually arise not from anyone's idea of creating an inclusive versus exclusive society, but rather from the tendency of some to be excessively litigious for selfish or petty reasons.

    Furthermore, I personally have no problem whatsoever with schools doing everything within their power to keep the focus during regular school day hours on learning and classwork. Sure, it's more than a little silly to make a big deal out of a harmles Halloween costume parade, but since a lot of parents today are more than willing to expend an awful lot of time and energy on making a big deal out of damn near anything, I fully support schools saying "The hell with you all, then" and basically throwing out any and all holidays during school. Besides, I'd much rather they focus on teaching kids how to find meaning in what they're reading or how to find the radius of a sphere or how to find their own city on a map, rather than how to find fun in spending the afternoon marching around dressed as a Transformer.

    Kids can have plenty of fun outside of school. When they're in school, I think it's pretty reasonable to expect that everyone's focus should be on nothing more than education.

  8. Aww, I remember how fun Halloween was in grade school. We got to parade around and see what everybody else was dressed as. That's about it. There weren't big parties, and it wasn't a whole day's worth of shenanigans, as I recall. I can't see how taking one hour off to be silly and have fun is so bad.

    Also we had color days. They were something about school spirit, or something. It was cool when you're that small. But most things out of the norm are cool in grade school. My standards were not high.

  9. Doran: qualified lose.
    Whiners: major lose.

    D: I'm more with Sarah on this. And, you ignorant flatlander, it's "Sikhs" wearing turbans in the RCMP, not "sheiks" - one's a religion from India, the other's an Arab noble of sorts. Yes, everyone should be tolerant - and mockable a la Russell Peters - and should lighten way the fuck up. But when you start playing the "we were here longest" card you lose. What gives one set of immigrants (or descendants) the right to dictate terms to newer immigrants? Or do you want to play that card and learn Cree? Maybe it's just a reaction to what used to be a dominant group slowly losing its dominance and even trending towards being outnumbered, and facing the changing character of what it thought of as its own country. We're not a melting pot, we're a salad bowl - you wanna melt, go south.

    W: I'm all for diversity and tolerance - INCLUSIVE tolerance. That means we can have Vaisakhi, Ramadan, Christmas, and pride parades or what have you. Rather than going the French route of banning anything religious in public, let's celebrate our differences and get over ourselves if we don't like something another group is doing. So Halloween, absolutely. Let the kids play dressup and have their fun - if you don't like it, don't join in, but don't ruin everyone else's fun time. And if you persist, I'll be warming up my wedgie-ing arm.

    Dammit, now I'm all mad. You got anything along the lines of a serrated garrote?


    PS - Orange & Black? Are you becoming a Lions fan, you naughty boy?

  10. I shouldn't comment. 'Cuz Imma gonna 'fend some mofo's ifs I do.

    But Admin, I feel your pain, and damn the man, lets force tolerance around the less 'popular' holidays! I can't wait for 'Talks Like a Pirate Day' now! In fact, I'm heading out to get a stuffed parrot right after work. Or to stuff a parrot, one of the two.

  11. I grew up in the most multicultural suburb in the state. Possibly the entire country. Some rednecked whore somehow got her fish-and-chip-filled arse elected to the government and called it an 'Asian ghetto'. (To which I said, fuck you. We were an Asian/European/African/American ghetto. And damn proud of it.)

    You know what tolerance was to me when I was a kid? Being able to swear in fifteen different languages, awesome food, and lots of holidays that usually involved fireworks. Kids don't give a fuck - they'll take any excuse to eat sweet food and run riot, and frankly, taking that away from them is kinda shitty.

  12. There's nothing I can add to the rant, sir, as you've perfectly stated the problem.
    Here in Tulsey-Town, the schools are celebrating The Harvest Holiday. Message from the school district: NO Halloween Costumes or "Halloween-Related" paraphenalia. Violators will be suspended from classes on this day".

  13. I'm sorry, but how can ANYONE defend a society that bans Halloween?

  14. Aw, no costume parade? That makes me sad. Like Shadows said, Preach on!

  15. I fall on the side of "what are you trying to do?" instead of 'what are you trying to NOT do?'.

    I went to my kid's elementary school Halloween parade yesterday and it was great! It's an extremely multicultural school with the highest esl and aboriginal population in our city. The kids all had a blast. Witches, vampires, princesses and zombies are wildly inclusive if you ask me. Nothing like costumes to even the playing field, am I right?

    The real reason I'd say these things are justified is the community building aspect - the kids all got to see each other in the same place and experience it together - they may not get that in their homes for whatever reason. Also the teachers went crazy and danced around and there were skits and prizes like 'most recycled costume' Fun is what.

    So, I appreciate a person having a right to be religious, having the focus on educations...all these things are important sure. But experiencing a socially inclusive community is what this stuff should be all about.